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Balancing life in all its various shapes and forms


Instinct is illogical!

Oooh potentially contentious blog! “Instinct is illogical” comes from an acquaintance of mine who reads my blogs. K is a maths/science teacher who bases her whole life on the formulas and theories she teaches. There is not a situation in K’s existence that has not being calculated and nothing is ever left to chance. I should say that I am not writing anything she would not say herself. Where most of us would make matter of the heart decisions with our emotions, K is “cold, lo

Change! Part 2

The one problem with making any big change is doubt, that silly little niggle that starts at the back of your head and will not go away. Small things can very quickly escalate into huge fears and worries and the spiral into heightened anxiety can shift up a gear and speed towards the danger zone. How do you stop that from happening? Self belief, remember where the courage came from to make that decision and why! Focus on you, on your reasons good or bad and use them to point

Promises, Promises … Oops I did it again!

So what changed ? Why did I suddenly decide a few months later to finish the job? Another bottle of wine? Another fish supper? Actually it is much simpler than that, all it took was someone sending me a text that said “well I believe in you, read this and remember it” So I have thought, believed, dreamt and finally dared! Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can start again, cliche I know but in this case so true. Apologies dear readers but I broke the promise at

Promises, Promises … The Team

You know those days where nothing seems to go right? The bus is late, you realise you forgot to switch off the iron/hair straighteners/coffee machine and then you finally sit down at your desk and there they are, one blue shoe and one brown. You sit back in your seat, close your eyes for a second and wish you would had a team of housekeepers and stylists to manage your every move. Days like these happen all the time, little things don’t go right and they can add extra stress,

Promises, Promises … Sunday

I made the mistake of reading back over some of my Blogs yesterday. Big mistake, mainly because I picked the wrong ones to read. I chose to read those full of promises and pacts with myself, 75% of which I didn’t keep or found some excuse to justify the break! We go out of our way to keep promises to others, cancelling nights out to go see family, leaving the pub because we promised we would be home early, why then is it much easier to break that promise to ourselves than it

Working It Out : A Spoonful of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go Down???

If only it was that easy Mary Poppins! It is a simple fact of life that, for those of us coping with anxiety and certain forms of depression, medication is key. No matter how many therapies we try, how many oils we breathe, how many zen like poses we sit in, we have to take the pills. This is something I really struggle with, I hate taking pills, even my daily vitamins, so to have to accept the fact that to get through the day and “function” I have to take one little white pi

Working it out : The Pebble Dropping

During my therapy session tonight a tiny wee pebble dropped into the pool of my thoughts. It could disturb the calm that I have been feeling but I think it is more likely to have a good ripple effect! I just need to get myself to the place where I can accept, understand and cope with what that brings! #depression #Fitness #therapy #Anxiety #llife #MentalHealth

Working it out : keep dancing!

One of the big problems that occurs when anxiety or depression takes over your life is that there are every day mundane things that still need to be done. Paying bills, food shopping, even getting out of bed and getting dressed are things that need to be done, especially if you live on your own. It can be such a struggle to cope and face these simple tasks and when the over thinking kicks in the molehill quickly becomes a mountain. What if we change or challenge the mountain

Working It Out : Who we are

We often let our anxieties define who we are, especially when they are related to our past. It is tough to do but with help we can change that memory imprint to help us move on! #Anxiety #MentalHealth

Working it out : Anxiety

If I asked you what the face of anxiety looks like,what would you say? If you Google it this is what you get Yet the majority of us who battle any kind of heightened anxiety on a day-to-day basis look normal. We don’t sit in corners crying or run down the street screaming, we get on with our lives until that day when it all gets too much. Your whole world feels totally disabled, the simplest task takes about three days to complete, in my case a passport application form, and

Fifteen, time to stop counting!

To adapt a quote from one of my “heroines” Sophia Petrillo, picture it, Cumbernauld, 1999, Friday morning,  but the problem is I can’t because I don’t remember it. The 15th May 1999 was  day that changed my life! The whys and wherefores do not matter but all you need to know is someone somewhere decided to switch me off in the most dramatic way.  At the time it felt a bit like an uphill struggle to get everything under control but what I now realise is that I was re learning,

Fourteen years and coping !

Fourteen years ago on the 15th May 1999 my life took a drastic turn. I suffered a massive anxiety/panic attack which led to a total breakdown. I lost, I think, nearly a week of my life because I had had enough drugs to “flatten an elephant” and I remember next to nothing about it. A sudden and life changing moment when I couldn’t find my cat turned my life upside down. For the last 14 years I have been learning to cope with the after effects that anxiety brings, the deep thin

Green Shoots of Recovery

I think it was John Major who coined this phrase to describe yet another so-called emergence out of recession for the UK.  The perfect ad man speak! Creating that positive image, the emergence from a dark winter evening into a spring like day.  I had forgotten all about it until I watched an old episode of Drop the Dead Donkey. Funnily enough it perfectly describes my life at the moment in many ways. The anxiety/stress/exhaustion is now about 80% under control, thanks to a lo

The Guilty Éclair

I did something this morning that I am ashamed of, something I swore I would never do again but hey ho, in times of stress and trouble we will clutch at any old straw to try to possibly feel good. I stood on the scales! Yes, I know, I threw mine out the window ages ago but I was waiting for my prescription at the Chemist, was fed up and thought why not. Big mistake, I appear to have put on weight which set my mind into overdrive. Was it the pasta I had at the weekend or perha

The Return of the Gymophobe!

Firstly a little bit of honesty, things have not been too good recently. I am currently off work suffering from anxiety, stress and exhaustion so my poor old Blog has suffered a wee bit. Any kind of heightened anxiety makes you over analyse things so any draft Blogs I have composed have been scrutinised so many times they had lost their meaning and, in turn, me with them. So, having now deleted all the ‘anxious’ ones, this is me getting back on the blogging track with a catch

One day at a time

Ok picture it; you are up, dressed, handbag in hand and heading out the door. You get to the end of the street and suddenly you think did I turn off the iron? Yeh, of course I did, I always do. But then that tiny little anxious voice at the back of your brain says, are you sure? That tiny little voice within five minutes can bring on a whole host of trouble. Within seconds you go from a casual stroll to get some much needed fresh air to being rooted to the spot with indecisi

December Days … presence, a Boxing Day reflection

To pretend that the last few days/weeks have been easy would not be true. I have had to admit that I am physically and emotionally exhausted, had to give in and take advice from others and cancel various plans that I have been looking forward to all year. November and December have been tough. When you live on your own, you grow to depend on your own resilience even though you have family and friends around you. I am a stubborn sort, determined that I can ‘fix’ me and I very


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