Little Miss Doubt ! Two years on …
That little five letter word causes so much trouble!
Whether it is in our own abilities, how we look in a dress or facing the thought of walking 26 miles, that pesky word always creeps in. Can I do it? Does it look good? Will I actually be able to walk that far? Doubt, you little creep,you do us no favours.
The other problem with doubt is that it shatters self-confidence and self belief. Take yesterday, I was on the rowing machine at Western Health and Racquets Club Gym and was only about five minutes into my row when I lost my breath. My mouth had gone completely dry and I was genuinely finding it hard to get my breathing rhythm back. I struggled on till the five-minute mark then had to stop for a drink. Despite GymGuyMark urging me not to stop, I could hardly breathe and within a few short seconds I very much doubted that I was going to be able to continue. However after a short lecture from GGM I started on my row again, very much struggling for breath but determined to continue for the seven minutes I had decided to do. It always amazes me that not matter how strong you are, doubt is a powerful little worm that gets in to your psyche and burrows deep.
So how do we stop listening to little Miss Doubt? Well the fact of the matter is that we can’t. We need a slight touch of doubt in our life or things could get pretty dangerous. What we need to be able to do is to get it into proportion, not let that tiny wee itch become a full-blown rash and get the cream on it quickly.
I set a new personal goal the other day and no sooner had I typed it all out, set out the steps and promised myself a reward, I did the foolish thing and re read it. Big mistake, when I saw the phrase drop a dress size, I could feel the niggle starting. So before the red spots appeared I saved the doc, shut down the PC and went for a walk. I could go to the Gym and hit the treadmill or perhaps pound the pavements for a quick Kilt Walk training session but there was only one place I could go to stomp on that niggle
This hill has been a constant throughout the last two years. It has been the one place I can go to check how fit I feel so to get rid of the doubt that was building up in my brain, it was time to face the hill. I put on the trainers, the leggings and the hoodie and off I marched. I stood at the bottom of the hill and after a 1 2 3 go, I tried my best to power walk up it, managed about three-quarters of the way and slowed down. When I got to the top I necked almost a whole bottle of water, leaned against the fence, took a huge breath and for some reason I walked back down that blasted hill. All in all it took four exhausting climbs of Gardner Street to blast that doubt out of me and by the time I was finished, I was totally wiped out. I got back to my wee bedsit, opened my laptop and finished typing out my goal.
Doubt is a creepy horrible feeling but one that we can quickly get rid of. All we need to do is to remember why we made the decision or choice in the first place and focus on that. In my case all I had to do was to remind myself that two years ago I made a choice to change, I didn’t listen to doubt then and as a result I am in much better place physically and in the Western Health and Racquets Club Gym I have found some where I can go to de stress. The one other advantage is that I also have some great people in my life who support and believe in what I am trying to do, they don’t doubt in my abilities and keep me going when the old body is tired. Of course in GymGuyMark’s case, he often gets quite stern with me now when I struggle to lift or feel like I am about to collapse, because he knows I can do it and now, so do I.
When I first went to visit the Gym two years ago, I called my friend Michelle when I left. I uttered a phrase that came to haunt me ”I almost wish I had brought my gym stuff”. She said she would remind me of that whenever I started moaning or groaning about feeling sore, but you know what that phrase has actually helped me because again whenever doubt starts I remember that moment.
So if doubt knocks at the door, answer it, see what it looks like then shut it and walk away. She will keep coming around every so often just to remind you but keep the relationship with doubt healthy and if you do ever let her in, there is always Gardner Street!
Here is to facing doubt for the next two years no what what!